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"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" begins one chapter of critically acclaimed Lee Siegel's new novel, Love and the Incredibly Old Man. "In the beginning" starts another. What else can a novelist do when hired as a ghostwriter by an elderly, irascible, conquistador-costumed man claiming to be the 540-year-old Juan Ponce de León? The fantastic life of that legendary explorer-inventor of rum, cigars, Coca-Cola, and popcorn-is the frame for Siegel's fourth chronicle of love, lies, luck, loss, and labia. Summoned with cold hard cash and a pinch of flattery, a professor and novelist named Lee Siegel finds himself in Eagle Springs, Florida, attempting to give form to the life of the man who, contrary to popular and historical opinion, did indeed find the Fountain of Youth. Spending humid days listening to the romantic ramblings of the old man and sleepless nights doubting yet trying to craft these reminiscences into a narrative that will satisfy the literary aspirations of his subject, Siegel the ghostwriter spins an improbable tale filled with Native Americans, insatiable monarchs, philandering cantors, deliriously passionate nuns, delicate actresses, androgynous artists, and deceptions small and large. For de León, and for Siegel too, centuries of conquest and colonialism, fortune and identity, are all refracted through the memories of the conquistador's lovers, each and every one of them adored "more than any other woman ever." Comic, melancholic, lusty, and fully engaged with the act of invention, whether in love or on the page, Love and the Incredibly Old Man continues the real Lee Siegel's exuberant exploration of that sentiment which Ponce de León confesses has "transported me to the most joyous heights, plunged me to the most dismal depths, and dropped me willy-nilly and dumbfounded at all places in Intro -- Contents -- Preface · 2005, an introduction to Juan Ponce de León -- Chapter One · 1465-1493, wherein Ponce de León, after his childhood, boyhood, and youth in Spain, is dispatched by Queen Ysabel to the Indies in search of a Fountain of Youth -- Chapter Two · 1493-1513, wherein Ponce de León settles in the New World, becomes Governor of Higuey and of Borinquen, invents cigars and rum, and discovers popcorn and Florida -- Chapter Three · 1513, wherein Ponce de León happens upon the Garden of Eden, discovers within it the Fountain of Life, and devises a plot by which to keep it secret -- Chapter Four · 1514-1564, wherein Ponce de León becomes a Zhotee-Eloq Indian, lives as one of them in Paradise, and attempts to save them from extermination -- Chapter Five · 1565-1647, wherein Ponce de León becomes a priest of the Catholic Church, visits his tomb in Puerto Rico, and establishes Florida's mission of San Hortano -- Chapter Six · 1647-1763, wherein Ponce de León becomes a wealthy merchant, purchases the land of the mission of San Hortano for the cultivation of tobacco, becomes his own son, and then his grandson -- Chapter Seven · 1763-1783, wherein Ponce de León becomes a Jew and dedicates Florida's first synagogue for Congregation Beth Mekor-Hayim -- Chapter Eight · 1784-1821, wherein Ponce de León opens Florida's first theater and returns to the stage to play, among others, Christ, Columbus, Hamlet, an old man, and himself -- Chapter Nine · 1821-1865, wherein Ponce de León becomes an American citizen, opens a yellow fever sanatorium, and, subsequently, an infirmary for Confederate soldiers wounded in the Civil War.
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